Latest Release
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE. 🚨
One morning, a mysterious ladder appears in a backyard, stretching endlessly into the sky. The President climbs it… and is never seen again. Meanwhile, robots go on vacation, the wind won’t stop gossiping, and an earthquake shuffles the world’s countries around like a deck of cards.
Inside this collection of completely rational, extremely serious short stories, you’ll find:
✔ A government taken over by parrots 🦜
✔ A town that declares bubblegum as legal currency 🍬💰
✔ The internet going on strike 💻🚫
✔ Aliens who visit Earth… just for a selfie 📸👽
A sharp, satirical, and delightfully absurd take on modern life, politics, and our very fragile grasp on reality, this book is for anyone who’s ever looked at the news and thought: “Wait… that can’t be real.”
📢 Disclaimer: This book contains no real solutions to global crises but might make you feel slightly better about them.
Enjoy the first story below!
The President Who Disappeared 🪜✨
One morning, in a quiet farming village, something peculiar happened. The Dawson family—mother, father, and their young son—were woken up by frantic knocking at their door.
"Come quick! You have to see this!" their neighbours shouted.
The Dawsons rushed outside and stopped in their tracks. There, in the middle of their backyard, stood a ladder.
It looked completely ordinary—wooden rungs, metal brackets—but something was off. It stretched upwards at a 75-degree angle, disappearing into the sky. 🌤️ No one could see where it ended.
Soon, the entire village gathered around, pointing, whispering, making wild guesses:
🗣️ "Maybe it's a stairway to heaven!"
🧐 "A secret government project!"
🌿 "A vine for invisible beans!"
🏙️ "A ladder to a floating city!"
Over the next few days, people took turns climbing it—but no one went very far. Some got tired. 😓 Others got scared. 😨 A brave teenager made it higher than most, but when the wind whistled through the rungs, he scrambled back down. 💨 No one dared to climb so high that they disappeared from view.
That is, until the President arrived. 🇺🇸
The President’s Great Climb 🚀
News of the mysterious ladder spread quickly.
Scientists arrived with measuring tools. 🧪
Journalists snapped photos. 📸
A fortune teller stood nearby, mumbling about "otherworldly passages." 🔮
Then, in a grand show of leadership, the President himself arrived, flanked by security personnel, government officials, and a dozen cameras. 🎥
"This is a moment of discovery!" the President declared. "We must be bold! We must be curious! And I shall lead the way!"
🚔 "Sir, this is a terrible idea," said the head of security.
📊 "Sir, please think of national security," begged an advisor.
📉 "Sir, your approval ratings are at an all-time high—why risk it?" asked his campaign manager.
But the President waved them off. 🖐️ With cameras rolling, he placed one foot on the ladder, then another, then another… 🪜
The entire nation held its breath. 😳
Higher. 📈 Higher. 📈
He turned back one last time, grinned, and gave a thumbs-up. 👍
Higher. 📈 Higher. 📈
Until—
✨ He was simply too far up to be seen anymore. ✨
Panic & Wild Theories 🤯
For the first few minutes, everyone waited. ⏳ Surely, the President would come back down with a great discovery! Surely, he'd announce what lay beyond! 🏆
But minutes turned into hours. Then an entire day. And still—no President. 😨
🤯 "ALIENS!"
🌌 "A SECRET DIMENSION!"
⌛ "TIME TRAVEL!"
⚠️ "THE LADDER WAS MADE IN CHINA!"
The Vice President, who had been quietly observing, suddenly had to take charge. 🏛️
🕴️ "Send in the Secret Service!" he barked.
And so, Secret Service agents, FBI operatives, CIA specialists, and even marines climbed the ladder one by one. 🚓 🚁🕵️♂️
They, too, disappeared. 😱
Helicopters and planes tried to track them, but there was a limit to how high they could fly. 🚁
Drones lost signal beyond a certain altitude. 🛰️
Satellites saw nothing. ❌
The Vice President’s Next Move 😤
After days of uncertainty, the Vice President had had enough.
🛑 "Destroy the ladder!" he ordered.
Some whispered that he just wanted to be President and didn’t want the old one returning. 👀
The next morning, the Dawson family awoke to the sound of chainsaws buzzing, bulldozers roaring, and jackhammers pounding. 🚜 The entire village gathered to watch as massive government contractor teams attempted to take down the ladder. 🏗️
They tried:
🔧 Lifting it with cranes. (It wouldn’t budge.)
🪓 Chopping it with axes. (The blades snapped.)
⛏️ Digging around the base. (The hole kept refilling itself.)
🔥 Setting it on fire. (The flames instantly died out.)
🔬 "Sir… it just won’t go away," a scientist finally admitted.
The Vice President sighed. 😤
📉 "Alright, put a sign on it and pretend it’s not there. Just like we do with inflation." 💸
With no other option, the Vice President ordered a warning sign to be placed next to it. 🚷
The Ladder Today 🏙️
And so, to this very day, the ladder remains standing, right there in the middle of the city. 🌆
Some say it's a portal. 🔮
Others say it's cursed. 👻
Tourists visit but never dare to climb it. 🏝️
Only two more people have ever gone up—the infamous Coconut Bank robbers, attempting to escape police. 💰💨
🚓 The officers chasing them stopped at the first step, sighed, and said, "Not our problem."
The ladder is still there. 🪜 No one knows where it leads.
But if you ever visit that city, you’ll see it—the strangest ladder in the world, with a simple sign that reads:
🚫DO NOT CLIMB.
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